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for christmas this year i received an envelope with cash and a cartoon of myself with a sleeve of tattoos.  something odd happened inside me when i opened it, a sort-of gleefully/fearful feeling, an"oh fun... uh-oh!" response.  that's because i love tattoos... but up to that moment i guess i only really loved the idea of tattoos.  darn it, now that the opportunity stared me in the face i had to quickly think it through and moderate what emotion to expose to my husband who was anxiously awaiting my reaction.  he knew it would be a loaded gift, but he was right to risk it... the excited side of me eventually won out.

so, feb 9 is the day!  this unmarked skin of mine will bear an image of my choosing.  although i have always reasoned with myself that there would never be a design i would want to bear for a lifetime, i decided right away that i could get something that represented my girls.  no possible regrets there... right?

ok, ok portraits aren't the way to go... but what should the image be?  darn it!  such a huge decision! when i start thinking too deeply about it, it scares the perfectionist in me to death!  oooh, that perfectionist side of myself ruins everything!  or not...

yes, there is a LOT of evidence out there of unfortunate tattoos (take a look at "ugliest tattoos" for a giggle), but there are also few that are quite beautiful and meaningful... i definitely prefer to be on that side of things.  

but i have to ask myself... why?  why am i considering doing this to myself?  i am terrified that i will regret the final product, and given my critical side i will likely analyse the thing until it warps into something horrible.  it's true!  i do that to myself!  i'm a terrible candidate for a tattoo, right?  BUT, i want to challenge it - i want to get a tattoo in spite of the perfectionist, as a part of my journey to overcome/accept those parts of myself.  plus *some* tattoos are cool, darn it!  :)

so!  the tattoo i've decided on may be a tad overloaded with meaning... when i look at it, i want to be reminded of freedom, of releasing control, and of my two beautiful girls - the style of the image will represent my character as a maker and my connection to the creative community and to the creator.  ya, that's loaded... 

i'm leaving a cliff hanger here... but will post pics of the process on feb 9, the fateful day.  say a prayer for me ok?  once the virgin skin is broken, i'm sure i'll get all de-sensitized and decide on a portrait of my cat next!

do you have a tattoo?  why did you get it?  what would you get if you don't have one already?